


Sparktober drabble collection

by krisrussel



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-28
Updated: 2012-06-30
Packaged: 2017-11-08 19:08:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 5,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/446503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krisrussel/pseuds/krisrussel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of stand-alone drabbles written for the Sparktober Bingo card. All obviously revolve around John/Elizabeth.<br/>Each chapter title is the prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Animals

It's only after a long and arduous mission off-world, that took almost a full week, that he realizes how much he actually missed her.  
During the debriefing, he tries to not stare at her. He really does try. But she's pretty and hot and...  
His mouth goes dry and he licks his lips a lot more than usual.  
When the debriefing is over, it's like she knows she has to stay in the room.  
The doors close and he's on her only a moment later. Lips crashing, tongues exploring, teeth grazing, hands groping.  
For a moment he feels like an animal claiming its mate, but he doesn't really care, knows she doesn't really care.  
Words aren't needed when he takes her on the table, hard and fast and nearly frantic.  
Afterward, when they're both panting hard and trying to regain their composure, she kisses him softly and whispers: "I missed you too."


	2. Ford

Elizabeth lets out a yelp when she's suddenly being pulled into a supply closet.  
John's lips are on hers before she realizes what's happening, but it doesn't take her long to actively participate.  
"On.way.to.meeting." She breaths between kisses and moans.  
He just grunts and kisses her neck, trying to remember not to leave a mark there.  
They don't do this often in the middle of the day. Usually they like it slow and long, but now and then hard and fast is exactly what they both need to shed the stress.  
His hands are under her shirt, tracing naked skin and she's moaning his name, grasping for his hardening erection.  
It's then that the door opens and they're being flooded in the light from the hallway.  
Ford's gaping and Elizabeth is thankful he didn't walk in on them two minutes later.  
His mouth opens and closes a couple of times, then he clears his throat. The sound is almost deafening.  
"Ma'am. Sir." He finally manages before walking backwards again.  
He's about to close the door, but then says: "Better lock the door next time." Before dipping them into darkness again.


	3. The Siege

It takes John risking his life for the city, for the expedition, for the greater good to make her realize how much she really cares about him. How much she's not supposed to care about him.  
When she sees the jumper disappear as it crashes into the hiveship, she wants to cry, wants to curl up in a corner of her room and be left alone for the next couple of hours. But she knows she can't, knows she still has a city to run, knows she has to try and save the rest of her people. So she swallows her pain, ignores the breaking of her heart, tries to pretend this isn't slowly killing her.  
When she hears he's still alive, she wants to do a silly little dance, wants to cry again, wants to hug someone. She can't stop smiling, not even when another load of bad news is delivered. Somehow, knowing that John is still alive makes it all just a little better.  
When he's finally back in the city, back where he belongs, she can't help herself and wraps her arms around him. She can feel his hesitation, until he finally relaxes and holds her close.   
It makes him realize how much he cares about her. How much he's not supposed to care about her.


	4. Mischief

"You cannot be serious."  
John just grins at her.  
"No." She tries to sound stern, but the shit-eating grin on his face is making that difficult.  
"It'll be fun."  
"It won't."  
"It will."  
She wants to bang her head against the table, but settles for rolling her eyes.  
"John..."  
"Liz'beth..."  
The whine in his voice is both annoying and enticing. It really is making it difficult to say no to him.  
"Do you think that the SGC won't ask questions about this?"  
"They don't need to know."  
"They need to give an okay for all the acquisitions I make."  
"They'll okay it." He says with a wave of his hand.  
"John, I'm repeating this only once. I'm not going to ask the SGC to deliver a container filled with lemons so you can stuff Rodney's quarters with them for April 1st."  
The pout on his face makes her almost give in. Almost, but not really.  
He opens his mouth again, but one look from her shuts him up and he stalks out, shoulders sagged.


	5. Phantoms

After he returns from 'the mission from hell' and from the moment Carson clears him, he disappears within the bowels of the city.  
It doesn't take Elizabeth long to find him though. For some reason, she can always locate him, like he's always present on her inner-radar. She doesn't want to think about why that is.  
He's sitting against the wall of one of the lowest labs, staring at the water, at the fishes that pass by.  
She sits next to him, barely touching him.  
For a while it stays quiet and both are staring at the water and the fishes.  
"It was a part of my life I wanted to forget about." He finally whispers and she stays quiet, knowing he has more to say. "There was so much death and destruction. So many young lives lost for a war that never should have been." He sighs and rubs a hand over his eyes. "Then when you try to save a life, they put a black mark on your permanent record. I lost so many friends and comrades there. It's different here. There's still so much death and destruction, but the war we're fighting is not useless. The lives that get lost are not lost in vain. You don't try to stop us when we try to pull off a rescue mission, no matter how crazy the plan is."  
She can't help but give him a soft smile at that. "I know how important rescuing your people is for you."  
"Our people." He corrects and she nods.  
"Our people."  
He turns to her and she can see how the ghosts of his past are slowly leaving him. "Thank you for having faith in me."  
"I couldn't do this without you." She admits.  
"Same here." He whispers.  
Their faces are hovering close, but neither of them is ready for the next step. Not yet.  
Instead she turns back to face the large window and leans her head against his shoulder.  
"I wouldn't want to do this without you." She says quietly.  
"Same here." He breathes and gently kisses the top of her head.


	6. Rain

She used to love the rain. As a child she loved to play in it, lift her head upwards and feel the droplets cascade down her face, stick out her tongue and taste the fresh rain.  
Ever since Kolya, she hates the rain, hates the memories it brings her. Hates the ice-cold feeling and terror that encompasses her.  
But now that she shares a bed with John and now that he makes love to her every time it rains and now that he keeps her warm, she can't help but very slowly start to love the rain again and feel a sliver of heat when she hears the rain outside.


	7. Duet

"Well, that was disturbing." John says as he and Elizabeth walk back to the control room after making sure Rodney and Cadman are okay.  
Elizabeth smiles. "John, are you not open to gay relationships?"  
Her voice is teasing and he rolls his eyes. "I have nothing against gay people or gay relationships... I just really do not want to picture McKay and Beckett in that... position."  
"It wasn't really Rodney who kissed Carson." She points out.  
"Still..."  
"I know." She smiles and silently agrees that it really was a bit disturbing to see. She would never admit that to him though.  
"It's not that I don't like to see people kissing, but this was just..."  
"I guess you don't mind kissing either, right?" She jokes and wonders why she turned the conversation to him and kissing.  
A small grin appears on his face. "Don't mind kissing whatsoever."  
She just knows there's a but. "But..."  
"But never in my life would I kiss McKay or Beckett."  
"What about Ronon?"  
His grin slightly grows and there’s a teasing tone in his voice. "That wouldn’t be so bad."  
Elizabeth can't help but laugh. "Anyone else from the expedition you'd like to kiss?"  
"You." Damn it! John inwardly curses. That came out way too fast and without any hesitation.  
It's then that he notices she isn't walking next to him anymore and he turns around to see her staring at him.  
Licking his lips, he rakes a hand through his hair.  
"Liz'beth?"  
She shakes her head, as if coming out of a daze and gives him a smile, trying to ignore the flutter in her stomach and stop herself from blushing. God, she would really would love to kiss him too. No way that she would admit that to him, though.  
"I'd rather prefer to kiss Ronon." She says as she passes him by and leaves him staring at her, mouth open wide.


	8. Gamble

"She's my wife!" He screams at the chieftain. It's a gamble. A huge one. She doesn't know he's trying this desperate move and if their stories don't match, they'll both be dead before sunset. But he can't leave Elizabeth behind like this, he can't let her get married to this old filthy man with nine wives and 30 children.  
The old man gives him a dark look. "She's your wife?"  
"She is." John says without hesitation.  
He snaps his fingers and two of the guards walk out.  
"That is what she told me."  
"If she told you, then why did you not let her go?"  
"Women have told lies before to escape marrying me."  
"Then maybe you should rethink your strategy of finding wives." John growls.  
It is then that Elizabeth is pushed inside by the guards and John walks towards her instantly.  
"You okay, sweetie?"  
She doesn't show any surprise at his use of a nickname. Clearly he has used the same cover as she has.  
"I'm fine." She says and hugs him tight.  
John tries to ignore the flutter in his stomach as he feels her so close.  
Elizabeth tries to ignore how safe she feels in his arms.  
When they finally let go, the chieftain is gone and they're alone in the throne room.  
"You really okay?" He asks again and she nods.  
"I am. Let's just get out of here."  
He agrees and makes a silent promise to himself to never let her out of his sight again when they're off-world.


	9. The Brotherhood

John is pissed off. Elizabeth can clearly see that during the debriefing. It's not due to Kolya, it's not due to the fact that they lost a ZPM they desperately need, it's because he was betrayed by yet another off-worlder who he had put his trust in. She can see it's eating at him. It makes him doubt the goodness of the people of this galaxy because right now they have made a lot more enemies than friends. She hates that too. Hates the uncertainty every time she sends a team to a so-called friendly planet, or when a leader gives them his certainty that his people mean them no harm.  
She'd rather face a Wraith than a tribal leader who is friendly to their faces, but then stabs them in the back. John is like that too. He wants to know who he faces, wants to know who he can trust.  
She never would have though she could have so much in common with a military man. But the better she gets to know him, the more she realizes she has more in common with John than she ever did with Simon. She also can't help but wonder why she always thinks of her military leader and her boyfriend in one sentence.  
Shaking off the thought, she focuses back on the debriefing.


	10. Genius

"It doesn't take a genius to see two people who are in denial."  
Ronon looks up from his plate and gives McKay a look. "What are you talking about, McKay?"  
The scientist points his fork to the table where John and Elizabeth are talking. "Them there."  
"What about them?" Ronon asks with an annoyed sigh.  
"Full blown denial." Rodney explains. "A kid could see they have the hots for each other."  
"The hots?"  
Now Rodney gives Ronon an annoyed look. "Yes, the hots. Aka, they want to do it with each other."  
"It?"  
Rodney now glares at the warrior. "Should I paint you a picture?"  
"I'd love to see you try." Ronon grins and Rodney lets out an annoyed huff, knowing the warrior was just messing around with him.  
Ronon looks back at the table and shrugs. "Don't really care about what they're doing in their free time."  
"Don't tell me you don't care." Rodney says as he waves his fork in front of Ronon. "They are our leaders. We should know if this would influence their decisions."  
Ronon shrugs again and gathers his stuff on his tray. "I don't think it influences their decisions." He stands up and takes the tray in his hands. "Because if you were any good in reading body language, you would know they've been doing "it" for a long time now."  
Rodney stares back at John and Elizabeth with a slight shocked look on his face. At that moment John laughs with something Elizabeth says and Rodney’s eyes widen. "Oh, God... they really are doing it."


	11. First Impressions

John knows a beautiful woman when he sees one, but the first time he sees Elizabeth Weir, he's so overwhelmed with everything that has just happened and is still happening that he doesn't really notice HER.  
It's not until they are standing in the gateroom, ready to embark to an unknown place without the certainty of ever returning, that he notices her grace and beauty. She talks to them as if they're family, as if they all matter to her and they probably all do. He's sure she would be the kind of person who would remember all the names of the people she would lose under her command. He hopes to God she won't lose anyone, but he knows he has to face reality and he knows they could easily all die the moment they set foot on the strange new world. But he'd follow her to hell and back without hesitation.  
When she tells them that now is the last chance to back out and that no one would blame them if they did, no one moves. And John knows that they would all follow her to hell and back. It's simply the incredible influence she has on people.  
As he follows Ford through the gate, he knows that first impressions usually don't mean much, but sometimes they're also spot-on.


	12. The Gift

Elizabeth joins John on the balcony. He's been out there after finding out Teyla is part Wraith and she's worried about him.  
For a few moments it stays quiet between them, but she needs to talk to him about this.  
"Are you okay?"  
He sighs and rakes a hand through his hair.  
"I know she's still the same, but it's just..." He sighs again.  
"She's a valuable member of your team. It's normal that this development would make you second-guess her position."  
"But I don't want to second-guess it. I believe Carson and you when you tell me she isn't any different from me with my Ancient gene."  
"But hers is Wraith, not Ancient."  
John wipes his hand over his face. "I hate this, I don't want to doubt my team."  
"Then don't. Keep your faith in them, in Teyla. Believe that she will do the right thing. Believe that she still is the same."  
Letting out a forced breath, he nods. "I'll try."  
For a while they're quiet again and simply stare out at the ocean.  
Finally Elizabeth takes a step back. "Are we still on for tonight?"  
Even though John's mood is still slightly foul, she can cheer him up in a heartbeat and he grins.  
"Our first date? Wouldn't want to miss it for the world."  
She smiles and steps towards the door. "It's not a date, Major."  
His grin grows. "You just keep telling yourself that, Doctor."  
As the door closes, he really can't wipe the grin off of his face.


	13. No Man's Land

John wants to snap someone's head off. He really wants to order Chuck to activate the gate to Earth, step through it and drag Elizabeth back home. He knows it's impossible, but how could they recall her during a crisis like this?  
He slams a little harder against the punching bag, grinding his teeth and imagining it's some hot-shot wannabe from the IOA.  
When Ronon enters, he barely registers it and focuses on the object of his anger.  
"What did the punching bag do?" Ronon asks after a while.  
John shoots him an annoyed look, but continues punching the bag.  
"It won't bring her back any faster." Ronon points out and John falters, leaning against the bag and panting heavily.  
"Is it that obvious?"  
Ronon grins and nods. "It's as obvious as the sun shining in your face."  
John rolls his eyes and gives the bag one last punch before taking off his gloves and sitting down on the bench next to Ronon.  
"It's not fair to her."  
"No, it isn't." Ronon agrees.  
"I want them to face the shit we have to face every day with the same grace and determination that Elizabeth has."  
"Right on."  
John gives Ronon another look. "I think you've been watching too many surfer movies."  
The warrior simply grins. "There can never be enough surfer movies."  
John laughs despite everything that's going on.  
"She'll be back before you know it." Ronon says and takes a set of Banto Rods. "You ready for our sparing session?"  
"Bring it on." John says and jumps up.


	14. Teyla

"No, no, no." Teyla says, sounding a bit exasperated.  
John glares at her. "Look, doing the funky monkey for a harvest festival really isn't my kind of thing. Why not ask Chuck, or Lorne, they're better at this!"  
Teyla sighs, but then gets an idea. "Doctor Weir is also included in this dance."  
"She uh.... she is?" John asks, trying not to sound giddy.  
Teyla nods. "I could ask her to join us. She also needs some more practice."  
John's eyes are almost shining. "Well, it would be better to practice with more people."  
She gives him a small smile and radios Elizabeth.  
It only takes their leader a few minutes before showing up in the gym.  
As Teyla gives them instructions, John and Elizabeth move around each other.  
Their Athosian friend can't help but smile. In her culture this dance is known as 'the dance of linked souls'. And right now, John and Elizabeth are perfectly linked.


	15. Infinity

"You would be willing to do this?"  
John gives the old woman in front of him a glare. "Yes."  
"This will link the two of you beyond infinity. No matter what time or place or life."  
"Just do it."  
She nods, speaks a spell and takes his hands. "Close your eyes, focus on her and only her."  
John licks his lips, closes his eyes and focuses on Elizabeth, her smile, her touch, her laugh, her raised eyebrow, her everything.  
The sensation he then feels is amazing.  
"John?"  
"Elizabeth?" The relief he feels is almost overwhelming. She’s still alive.  
"How..."  
"Old woman with special powers. But tell me where you are. Tell me how we can save you."  
"John... there are replicators everywhere."  
"I don't care. We don't leave our people behind! I will not leave you behind."  
"There might be a way, but it's a long shot." She finally says, unable to ignore the pain in his voice.  
"I"ll take anything, no matter how small the chance."  
"How long will this connection last?"  
"According to the old woman: 'beyond infinity'."  
For a moment Elizabeth is quiet. "I really hope you know what you're doing."  
"So do I. Now tell me how we can get to you."  
Minutes later he opens his eyes and lets out a deep breath. This plan has a small chance of succeeding. There's a possibility to save her and get her out of the hands of the replicators. It's then that he realizes her presence still lingers in his mind and somehow the feeling is comforting and grounding. It makes him even more adamant to rescue her. And rescue her he will, no matter what. And if they're linked like this for ever and ever, he can't say he really minds that.


	16. Lessons

Elizabeth throws John an amused look.  
"Help me out here, please." He nearly begs.  
"You really want to impress my brother at his wedding that much?"  
"Do you want to go to your brother's wedding with a date who can't dance?"  
She thinks about that for a moment. "So you're doing this for me?"  
"Of course."  
"And it has nothing to do with the fact that you want to ask my brother for my hand in marriage?"  
"You already agreed to marry me. Asking him is only a formality."  
She laughs. "John Sheppard, you are so old-fashioned."  
He grins at that. "And would you really want me stumbling during our first dance at our wedding?"  
"Well, point taken."  
Turning to the radio, she hits play and the soft tones of a Waltz start to fill the room.  
"Let the dance lessons begin." She smiles and John grins as he takes her in his arms.


	17. Rising

They stick together during most of the party, talking, laughing, watching the others.  
It's not until most people have turned in for the night and he's walking her to the room that's temporarily been assigned to her, that she realizes he's been in her personal space almost all evening. She barely knows him and he's her military commander now and she has a good man waiting for her back on Earth, so why does the fact that he ignores her personal space excite her?  
As they arrive at her door, they linger for a moment and silence stretches between them.  
Eventually she breaks it. "Thank you for a wonderful evening."  
A small smile plays on his lips and she finds it incredibly adorable.  
"Anytime." Is his simple reply.  
She knows she shouldn't do it, but his pull on her is too big to resist. So she leans in and gently kisses his cheek.  
"I'll see you in the morning."  
John looks a bit dazed as he gives her a nod and walks away.  
Watching his retreating form she's sure that he really will get her into all sorts of trouble.


	18. The Ark

From the moment he enters their quarters, Elizabeth's arms are around him and it slightly surprises him. It's not unusual for her to show more affection to him after a dangerous mission, but right now she almost seems desperate.  
"Liz'beth, you okay?" He asks carefully.  
She slightly lets go and gives him a hesitant smile. "We need to talk."  
That doesn't sound good but he still follows her towards the large couch where he sits down next to her.  
Wiping a hand over her face, she lets out a sigh. "I know that you have a dangerous job. I know that every time I send you on a mission or through the gate could be the last time. But you have to stop with the unnecessary heroics."  
He's baffled for a moment. "It wasn't unnecessary, Teyla's life was on the line and..."  
"I know that. But there were other solutions without the need for you to risk your life."  
"Elizabeth, what is this about?" He asks, slightly worried about her sudden behavior.  
"John..."  
He looks at her expectantly and she lets out another sigh.  
"I'm pregnant."  
He stares, trying to get his mind wrapped around that piece of information.  
"Uh... what?" He knows it's the worst reaction and he can see a trace of pain on her face.  
"I'm pregnant, John. Carson informed me about it while you were on the mission."  
He still can't wrap his mind around it. "Pregnant?"  
She looks away from him and he sees in her body language that she wants to get away from him, so he takes her hand in his before she has a chance to stand up.  
"Never again will I unnecessarily risk my life."  
A hesitant smile returns to her face and he can't help but grin as he wraps his arms around her and holds her close.


	19. Daedalus

John trails feather light kisses down her neck and it makes Elizabeth moan.  
The bunkbed is really small and this won't be comfortable at all, but he's missed her and he needs her. He needs her like the air he breaths.  
Between moans, Elizabeth tries to tell him that this is a very bad idea. They're on the Daedalus, with Caldwell watching their every move like a hawk. They're in a small bunkbed that really is too small, but it only makes John grin as he opens her shirt, removes her bra and flicks his tongue over her nipples, which makes her buckle and bump her knee against the wall.  
John can see she's hurt herself and he gives her a worried look.  
"It really is too small here." She smiles apologetic and John laughs, pulls her from the bed, drags the mattress onto the floor and pulls her down with him.


	20. Game

"This isn't a game, Colonel!"  
John takes a step back and swallows. "I'm sorry."  
"You will be sorry."  
"Look, I didn't know they would take it this seriously!"  
"When the elder of the village told you they need to perform a marriage at the harvest festival and then he asks you if you are attached to someone and you spontaneously, and without any reason if I may add, say you are engaged to me, did you really not put two and two together?"  
John gives her a sheepish look.  
"And why would you tell anyone we’re engaged?"  
He shrugs. "Being either engaged or married to you has helped me out of tight spots before."  
"Tight spots?" She asks, but really doesn't want to know the answer.  
"You know, when alien princesses and the likes are coming on to me."  
"So then you tell them you're married to me?"  
"Seems like the best way to get away from them."  
"Why me?"  
The question slightly overwhelms him and he licks his lips. "Well, you know... being married to you doesn't seem so bad." Crap, he did not just say that.  
Elizabeth gapes at him. That wasn't the answer she was expecting. And for one of the first times in her live, she's speechless.  
John licks his lips again. "Would it really be so bad?" He licks his lips one more time. "Being married to me?"  
"No, it wouldn't." She answers without thinking and she can't believe she just admitted that.  
"So... would you... marry me?" He asks hesitantly and then quickly adds. "You know, for the harvest festival. It's not like anyone will approve it as an actual marriage on Earth. We can easily explain this to the IOA if need be."  
She can't help but smile at that. "Are you trying to talk me into it, or out of it?"  
He grins slightly. "Is that a yes?"  
The blush on her cheeks appears involuntarily. "Marriage? John, we haven't even gone on a date yet."  
His grin grows. "Then go out on a date with me tonight. Please?"  
She hesitates for only a second. "Fine, a date tonight and after that I'll give you my answer."  
He leaves her office with a very content smile on his face and she already knows she'll give him a positive answer.


	21. Season 1

"The first season of 'Wormhole Atlantica'?" Elizabeth asks her military commander with a raised eyebrow and he shrugs.  
"It's fun to watch."  
"It's cheap entertainment."  
"Exactly the thing we need to forget about our everyday stress."  
She opens her mouth, but closes it again. "It's based on what we live through every day."  
"It's a spin-off from the very popular 'Wormhole X-treme'. That was fun to watch."  
"That was also cheap entertainment."  
"Give it a chance." John quips and puts the DVD in the player.  
"Have you watched it yet?"  
John shakes his head. "Nope, but if it's anything like the original, we'll be in for a laugh."  
It's ironic how much is the same and how much is completely different. In the pilot, Major Jack Shilling has already bedded three alien princesses and Doctor Anny Wired looks jealous every time she catches him in the act. Lieutenant Adrian Mercedes is a hot shot who rather shoots than talks. And the alien warrior princess Tikla jumps into bed with every man she crosses paths with. Doctor Roland McKinny is an absolute ass who's ego is bigger than his intelligence. It is very funny to watch, especially when knowing the truth behind the stories.  
The only thing that makes both John and Elizabeth uncomfortable is the incredible chemistry between Shilling and Wired. Sparks literally fly between them.  
After finishing the first DVD in one easy go, John turns to her.  
"So..."  
"Yeah..."  
"Nothing better than the real thing, right?"  
She smiles and nods. "Nothing better."  
For a moment they stare at each other. She clears her throat, he licks his lips.  
"So... that kiss between Shilling and Wired in the third ep..." He stares at her lips as he says it and then he's kissing her and Elizabeth is kissing him back and he really can't help but think that the real thing really is a lot better.


	22. Athosian Parties

Athosian Parties have always caused trouble in some form or another over the years. There's really a whole list of trouble: Ford getting lost in a cave on the mainland, Peter giving McKay the middle finger, Chuck snogging a married Athosian woman, Lorne stripping on the dance floor... The list is almost endless. Athosian parties and humans really do not go well together.  
So far John and Elizabeth have managed to stay off the list. So far, because right at this moment, they're in the middle of the dance floor, kissing and groping each other like their lives depend on it. It's easy to blame the abundance of alcohol at this point but when Ronon and Teyla pull them apart, John wants to punch Ronon in the face just to get back into Elizabeth's arms. That's when their friends realize it's more than just alcohol and suppressed feelings.  
When they wake up in the infirmary the next morning, they're greeted by a massive headache and a smiling Carson who informs them that some Athosian kids thought it'd be funny to spike their drinks with a strong aphrodisiac.  
Some time later Elizabeth groans. "We're on the trouble list now, aren't we?"  
John nods, but decides that's a bad move with a massive headache and closes his eyes. "Yes, we are."  
He can hear Elizabeth sigh and decides to be bold.  
"Would you want to uh... continue what we started last night?"  
For a moment it stays quiet and John's afraid he totally overstepped his boundary.  
The quiet "yes" actually surprises him and for the rest of the day, he can't wipe the grin off his face, no matter how much his headache is killing him.


	23. Revenge

One of the first lessons John ever learns in life, is that revenge is useless and will bite you in the ass if you're not careful. Back then he already solemnly swears that he will never let his feelings and actions be guided by revenge.  
That is until he's standing in the pouring rain, begging one of his enemies through his radio to spare the life of Doctor Elizabeth Weir.  
When Kolya tells him Elizabeth Weir is dead, something in John snaps. A feeling of revenge overwhelms him. The only thing he can think about is how to get back at Kolya, how to make him hurt, how to kill him... very slowly and extremely painfully.  
As long as he can't make it to Kolya, he takes it out on the men his enemy has brought through the gate. With every life he takes, he wants to take his radio and shout to Kolya that this is his revenge. This is what happens when you kill the woman I love. He never admitted it to himself before though and now that she's dead, he regrets that.  
When Kolya tells him that Elizabeth is still very much alive and from the moment he hears her voice, the feeling of revenge dissipates just as sudden as it appeared and he solemnly swears he will tell her how he feels, because life can sometimes be way too short.


	24. Flashback

John Sheppard stares at his old hands and sighs. He has never liked getting old. It's not really the getting old itself that he hates, but it's the way his body slowly starts to say 'fuck you'. His hearing stinks, he needs to wear glasses when reading, his knees hurt every time there's going to be rain and his hair (even though it still looks good) has turned completely white.  
"Grandpa?"  
He gives Tasha, his oldest grandchild a smile. "Yes, sweetheart?"  
The eight-year-old heaves a heavy photo album onto the table. "Tell me again about Atlantis."  
John nods, settles the little girl on his lap, puts his reading glasses on and opens the book on its first page.  
He remembers the day the first photo was taken like it was yesterday. The entire expedition, right before they would all step through the gate towards Pegasus for the very first time, is smiling up from the embarkation room to the control room. They all seemed happy, carefree, even if they were about to face unknown dangers. John looks over the faces and tells Tasha funny stories about the people on it. He skips the people that died in Atlantis those first few months. Not because he doesn't care about them, but because he never got a chance to get to know them.  
"What are you guys doing?"  
John looks up at his wife and his smile grows. "Tasha wanted to hear some more about Atlantis and I could use some help as I tend to get lost in flashbacks."  
Elizabeth nods and sits down next to them.  
Leafing through the photos brings back good and bad memories, but they're both part of their lives. If it wasn't for the good or the bad, they never would have grown close, never would have fallen in love, never would have married, never would have gotten children or grandchildren.  
Thinking of the past makes them both realize how different it all could have been and how lucky they are to be where they are now.


End file.
